There are good times and bad times. And I’ve had plenty of both, so I can’t really complain about anything at this point. Good times are when I’m what others would call “happy” and what I personally call “balanced”. Bad times are when I’m utterly confused and overwhelmed, mostly by overthinking. Obviously, this post is about the bad times. Because when you struggle to find someone to talk to but you don’t feel like you can completely express yourself, you write on the blog. And by you I mean me. Obviously.
There’s so much pressure in knowing. Knowing what you want, knowing what’s going on in the sense that you can finally overcome the fear of missing out, just knowing where you stand and what’s coming next. That’s kind of a balance. Knowing.
And I’m about to get really personal here and go ahead and declare I don’t know anymore. I’m floating in space and it’s confusing and I’m really not a fan of this feeling.
This time it’s different. I guess it’s different every time. But now there’s nothing I can hang on to in order to go back to balance, other maybe than writing everything down and taking selfies at the end. Just kidding, I don’t take selfies. Just kidding again.
Someone asked me what my biggest vice is some time ago and I couldn’t answer. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t do drugs. However, I found it. It’s overthinking. That, and looking at houses on Airbnb. Yes, I know, I’m weird, welcome to my blog. Going back to overthinking, though. It’s not bad, right? I mean, it could be seen as deeply analyzing a situation. But when you put feelings into that analysis and turn it from an Excel doc into a thought… Boom. And that’s what I did. I exported the Excel into something else (I know a lot more fancy words like “export”, trust me on this one 😉 ).
I do realize this is very vague for anyone to understand what I’m ranting on about. Let’s break it down a bit.
I do know things, I’m not stupid. That much I know about myself, ahem. I know what I’m doing at work, I know how to handle things with my cat etc etc.
But people always seem to go around one thing only: feelings.
My opinion is that people who seem very focused on money are probably trying to make it because they need to impress someone they have feelings for. Just saying. Because money doesn’t make the world go round, people do, and people have feelings. Look at me, the Einstein of love.
But what do you do when you don’t know what to do, knowing that no matter what you do, bridges will burn and you’re not really a fan of burning those bridges because they will destroy any hope for balance in the future? (Go back to gif number 1) . Vague again, right? I know that too.
Do you burn the bridges? What if you’re going to miss the bridges? What if the bridges will never talk to you again? Why am I using so many metaphors?
If you didn’t get anything out of this blog, it’s cool, because we shall never mention it in a conversation. But I do like to think this is a funny expression of emotions.
I really don’t know.
Gifs via Google