I’m employed. Stable job. Online communication, all that is trendy and hip.
My love life is pretty much an episode of “Girls”, in which I am neither and all of them at the same time. Basically a normal single gal in her twenties, amiright? Don’t answer that, married people.
So. Single, stable (yes, they go together)… what else? Ah, yes. Still in school. Two more months, goddammit. Two more months. What does that have to do with anything, you ask? Well… I still live in a dorm. And no, I am not ashamed of it for one bit, even though I basically cry each night dreaming of my own room in the big city. Is it bad? Yes and no. Life in dorms has its perks but also its downsides and this post is not gonna turn into “The benefits of living in a dorm” because I’m not part of a sorority at Harvard. And boy am I glad I’m not. The point is I’m moving out of the dorm in almost 2 months and this time I’m not just saying that to myself.
So here it is, all my knowledge and insights from having lived in a dorm for almost 10 years. Whew, what a number.
1. Boundaries. Are your room mates changing their clothes in front of everyone? Is it like gym class in the locker room or do they hide behind the door of their wardrobe and change in 5 milliseconds like they’re doing a magic number? These are the questions you’ll need to figure out answers for in the first night of dorm life. And it’s weird and different every single year.
2. Sharing. There’s always that one bitch that doesn’t want to share her food with anyone. Let’s call her Joey. But she’s the bad kind of Joey, because you can’t love her, because she’s not sharing food. Like at all. What kind of person is that? Plus, she never tastes what you’re offering to her, which is an insult to your mom so you just decide to hate her quietly. Sharing is caring, and yes, I learned that before becoming a volunteer.
3. There’s not much privacy so you might just go along with it. It’s a dorm, you have room mates, they are there at all times, therefore crying or laughing or swearing all become little performances with an audience starting 3 people and up.
4. Praise THE LORD if you have a separate bathroom. Adapt and don’t complain too much if you don’t. It won’t solve anything and you can just choose rent if finances help you. It will sure make you appreciate every little thing you have and not see everything as a commodity, because not everyone’s a rich kid from the suburbs.
5. You can’t have a pet. (Because you are not part of a sorority at Harvard, in an American movie).
6. You can still get a boyfriend, it’s fine. But you can’t really spend the evening at your place, if you know what I mean. Except for that situation in which you are part of a sorority at Harvard.
7. You can’t have one night stands at your place. EVER. Except for that situation in which all your room mates are gone and the doorman is sleeping like a log. Very unlikely, if you ask me. (You thought I was gonna pull that sorority thing again, huh?)
8. You build life long friendships. Seriously, to this day, my best friends are the people with whom I lived since I was in my first year of high school, and that’s something.
9. Everybody is fighting a hard battle and I’m not trying to get sentimental here, but you really get to know people and sometimes it gets rough.
10. That viral thing on 9Gag with the long distance relationship between you and your fridge that has to stop becomes the opposite, as you can not wait to have a separate kitchen, like, for cooking and eating and stuff.
11. You have too many Pinterest boards called “Interior design” and “Dream home ideas”. Guilty as charged.
12. You learn to adapt very fast to pretty much any other environment. Camping #natureisyourtoilet? Sure. 5 Stars hotel? Awesome. Have to share the bed with 3 other people? I mean hey, at least you don’t have to pee in a bush, amiright?
13. You’re responsible. Was there curfew in the high school dorm? Great. That means that you carried some drunk friends back from the party just in time before closing.
14. One thing I never learned though, is how to keep my wardrobe organized ever. Not in the dorm, not at home, not anywhere. Meh, I’m a girl.
15. You know exactly how your future house is going to look like, just like other little girls dream about their wedding. At one point in life you even thought of applying for interior design classes but you were still living with your parents. Oh, wait, that was me. Sorry.
Basically, if you’ve ever lived in a dorm, you’re ready for life. Congratulations, you pass.
P.S. Sorry it’s from a feminine perspective, but I’m a girl and well, you do the math.
*all gifs from giphy.com*