The rants of a 25-years-old teenager

If there’s one thing I know about myself is that I didn’t grow up just yet. I’m still a silly girl that blushes when she gets a compliment and denies it immediately instead of saying “thanks” like a normal 24 year old woman would do. Or would she? I don’t know. I don’t understand women either. Hashtag b****es be crazy.

However, this is not about compliments or anything like that. I’m just at a point where I’m trying to figure things out but I know for sure that everyone does it no matter the age, even though there are so many expectations people have of me and young people in general. Sit up straight, take your elbows off the table, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t burp in public, don’t pick your nose, stop pointing with your finger. So. Many. EXPECTATIONS, amirite?

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I’m just talking about all these expectations of how I should have a stable job that could develop a career (OK, I’m on it). That I should be buying an apartment and stop paying rent (WHY?). That I should think about what I’ll be doing in the next 5 years (uhm, videos on Dubsmash, d’ooh!). That I should have an opinion about everything (OK, fine, Rihanna doesn’t always deserve to be on the best dressed section). That I should give up my dream of becoming a YouTube celebrity and focus on “some real goals” (NO.). That I should stop pointing with my finger at things (but you’re not looking where I’m telling you to look!).

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One day, our heads are going to explode of so many thoughts caused by our judgmental consciousness that Steven Spielberg will start crying because he didn’t get the time to make a Vine out of it, I tell you. Or post it on Meerkat, we’re evolving over here (also, you’re welcome, I educated you a little).

One moment it’s “don’t worry, you have your life ahead of you”, the next one is “so, your resume says you had 5 jobs already?… Isn’t this doubting?” Yeah, it is doubting. Like that Hawaiian shirt you’re wearing. What is this, casual Friday? (That was me talking to a virtual interviewer, FYI).

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I’ll be 25 in 2 weeks. And I don’t know where I’m at. All I want to do is finish reading Amy Poehler’s book, listen to The Weeknd, scroll on Tumblr and visit London. I’m serious about these 4 things being on the top of my priority list. What does that say about me? Doesn’t matter.

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Actually, the cold always bothered me. But I do love Olaf ^_^.

OK fine, I’ll stop ranting. No top 10 things I learned while being 25 anymore. I have a cat now and it takes up all of my time for blogging. Just kidding, it doesn’t, I just don’t want to write.

Byyyeeeeee.

 

All gifs via Google Images

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10 signs you don’t need to read the signs

Marie Claire is really starting to get on my nerves and I still like their page on Facebook for some reason (a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do). They had a pretty interesting article that I didn’t read (of course), called “15 signs you are NOT a morning person”. Wait. What? How can you tell someone who is not a morning person that they are not a morning person? Makes sense to you? Because it most certainly doesn’t make any sense to me. I know I’m not a morning person and I don’t need 15 signs for it. I JUST KNOW, MARIE CLAIRE. I JUST KNOW.

But let’s give them pretty girls a break. Unfortunately I can’t come up with 15 signs I hate Marie Claire. What is really frustrating about these articles on the web is that they keep making stuff up that we actually don’t need in our lives. But when you read them it’s like “OMG, that’s so me”. Some of them do get it right, I’m not complaining. But I don’t need 20 signs I’m addicted to Facebook, I know I am. Or 5 reasons I didn’t iron my blouse this morning (because I knew I was going to work by bus, that’s why).

So here they are. My 10 signs you don’t really need to read that “x signs you are actually reading that shitty article”. I realize this phrase was a little hard to read, but bear with me.

1. Oh. My. God. One of the signs actually applies to you. One out of 100. From an article you didn’t even take time to read.

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2. You will become paranoid and figure out you are depressed by saying “yes” to every sign, even if it’s a Buzzfeed gif list about why Robin Williams was the greatest.

3. Well waddya know, you actually are a girl. Thank God for Marie Claire telling you that in 15 signs, amirite?

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4. Your boyfriend comes to tell you he cheated on you. I think it’s pretty obvious you don’t need to “Find out how to tell if he’s cheating”, *cough cough*.

5. If you’ve just taken a selfie, don’t bother going over that Elle article telling you “10 signs you enjoy taking selfies”. Guilty as charged.

6. Did your device decide it’s time to shutdown or restart when you were just about to read “10 signs you’re addicted to Facebook”? Must be a *sign* from above.

7. Magic number seven here is here to tell you that if you’re really into apple pie, you don’t need 10 more signs to know. Same goes with coffee, vitamin water, saltines at 1 am or whatever you’re addicted to. You just keep doing you.

8. Katy Perry knows how a plastic bag feels like and I bet that song is just another “10 signs you are a firework” article at its core. And I don’t really think anyone has ever known what a plastic bag ever felt like.

Yes, I said ever twice. To emphasize.

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9. “10 signs you’re a feminist”. Number one: do you need someone to tell you what you are or can you stand your ground and explain it yourself?

10. You got over teenage Britney, because why the hell would you need someone to “hit you one more time” in order to give you a sign? … Beats me.

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Whew, I got kinda musical in this one, huh.

Gifs via Tumblr. 

 

Don’t judge me.

The one with the bucket list.

First things first: I know you’re not supposed to put a full stop at the end of a title, but I’m a rebel that way. In your face, rules.

So yeah, anyway, even if I have 2 posts that I’ve been postponing for a while (I kind of complain in one of them so you’re better off for now; and by you, I mean you 5 readers that follow this God forsaken blog that not even my friends read), but I was just watching one of Anna Akana’s videos on YouTube where she talks about her bucket list. And as I am a grown up now, who just realized she hasn’t really accomplished anything so far *cough cough*, I had the epiphany of writing a bucket list.

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The thing is, I’m sorry if I disappoint anyone, but it’s not your bucket list, mkay? And also, it’s not an usual one, like “things to do before I die”, but more like “things I want to accomplish in  life”. (Look at me being all dramatic and shit). And you’re not getting it all. I do have a private life, Facebook. Trust me, I do.

Here goes nothing.

1. Write at least 10 items of my bucket list on my blog. 

Haha, gotcha.

2. OK, I’ll be serious on this one: get a best friend and really try to keep him/her by my side for as long as possible, ’til death do us part. I’ve been going back and forth with my friends, always having trouble with staying best friends with someone. Fights, distance, disappointment can always happen, but I keep trying because I know there’s someone out there. Or just a cat, amirite?

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3. Figure out what I want to with my life and start doing it. Like I said, I don’t feel like I have done something important in my life so far. It’s really hard for me to answer the question “What are you most proud of?” when I hear it in job interviews or people I’m working or networking with.  So I go with superficial answers to quickly cover up. Therefore, I’m really determined to find what I’m good at, and yes, that is a very valid bucket list item, even if I’m 50 when I find it.

4. Wow, 4 already? Kewl. Visit New York city. My friends are probably bored hearing this over and over again, but I really want to see the filthy streets of NYC, and inhale the fresh air in the subway or stumble upon the rats at the corner of the streets where people throw their garbage. There’s just something romantic about that, you know?

5. Fall in love. I will not talk about this, though, I just mentioned it so people would think I’m romantic. Which I’m not. Don’t judge me. *listening to Omarion in the background* *I got this ice box blah blah blah*

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6. Start a damn YouTube channel already. One day, man. ONE. DAY.

7. Help someone out. No one has ever thanked me for helping so far, and that’s because I didn’t feel like I was doing them a favor or helping them out either, probably. And I also believe we are a little selfish when we do something just to hear a “thank you” back. And that’s not the kind of help I’m willing to give.

8. Get a tattoo. I’ll probably regret it for the rest of my life, but I actually want one. Pain, yeah, bring it!

9. Live in another country for at least a year. Work, have a life, meet new people, cry on Skype when talking to mom, that sort of stuff.

10. Whew, 10 already. Hmm, I give number 10 to drinking more water. Sounds like a New Year’s resolution, but hey, it’s for great health, and I need great health in order to fulfill the rest 90 things on my bucket list that you have no idea about. Hah. Told you I have a life outside Facebook!

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I’m sorry. I took all the gifs from Google Images and I didn’t bother to get the URL for each one.