The Tinder Chronicles

Single gal in her 20’s checks out Tinder. Wouldn’t say it’s the worst thing I’ve ever tried.

And before you throw tomatoes at me like it’s the effin` La Tomatina, here’s a disclaimer to calm your tits:

[Yes, I did try it out. I have installed and un-installed Tinder from my phone twice. I had EXACTLY ONE Tinder date. No, I did not hook up with any of the guys I have ever texted with on Tinder]. There.

Okay, so why did I sign up on Tinder anyway? (I have asked myself that many times, and here it is again) Well, I wanted to see what it’s like to be as superficial as possible and rate people based on their profile pictures only. If you’re shy and don’t like going out in bars, Tinder is a good alternative. You can check out people without having to actually awkwardly meet them. Also, judging by the fact that you can’t fall in love with someone’s personality at first sight, attraction is a very important factor.

So what’s it like on Tinder? Well… You see picture. You like picture? Swipe right. You no like? Swipe left. Picture might also have description. It may be funny or plain boring. You get to decide if it matches the picture and then make the swipe. Really simple. No need for actually thinking things through. No need for thinking about a line. Unless you already have one, you stud.

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What did I find on Tinder so far?

I would say that there are A LOT of guys on Tinder. Any kind of guys, tbh. The laid back ones really like checkered shirts, the ones who want to impress the ladies wear suits and probably a bouquet of roses in their hands for their profile picture. You know, like they’re on a “The Bachelor” audition or something.

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Sometimes the guys would be too confident and send the most obnoxious texts, but hey, we can’t judge because this is a hooking-up app, and most of the times you’ll get what you see. Yes, there are probably people who got married after meeting on Tinder, but they also tell their relatives they met at a convention. Oh, and there’s also couples on Tinder. Or maybe just guys who play the Barney Stinson “I’m so hurt after my ex hurt me, please help me get over it” card. You never know. Unless you swipe right. I didn’t.

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Most guys won’t say anything after you have a match. They either have better matches, or really don’t give a sh*t. It’s “very seldom that you’re blessed to find your equal”, in the words of Bey. But don’t get me wrong. I’ve had really nice conversations with guys on Tinder, providing maps for tourists and sometimes just laughing at this whole weird concept that is online dating. Someone actually told me I’m amazing, because I cracked some Friends and Seinfeld jokes. Well of course I am. Hah.

I’ve set my age limit to 35, because I have boundaries. Or whatever. So I have no idea how the “over 35” age group looks like on Tinder and I don’t really want to. But up until there, half of the guys need fashion consultants. Maybe like a quarter of them could do better with their lines, and the other quarter are actually okay, which is why I would advice getting off Tinder and meet me in real life. Just kidding, I’d probably run. Speaking of running. To my first and last (so far) Tinder date, I wore my running shoes, because he said he’s just a little taller than I am. He lied. He was shorter. It was a nice date, but don’t lie to me. We talked for two more days, but then I deactivated Tinder and disappeared without a trail. Oh, the drama. Yes, I can be a b**ch, too. But I DID NOT LIE.

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(Side note for the ladies: teenage boys also lie about their age, just like teenage girls do. If you happen to find 25 year-olds who look like a 17 year old Edward Cullen, abort mission).

And finally, because no one asked this from me and I’m still willing to give it to you, some tips and tricks for the inexperienced, new to Tinder, wants to get some guy:

  • If you’re kissing a girl in your profile picture, you’re not getting any. If you have an arm around her, not gonna work either. Is it your sister? We don’t know that. *swipes left*
  • If you’re married and I probably know you (small town, fyi), get off Tinder. *swipes left* *ughs*
  • If you’re over 40 and don’t really get social media, this is not Instagram or just another social app. What are you doing here? *swipes left* AGAIN.
  • Putting your name “The Pervert” with no profile picture, chances are you’re not getting any swipes. Are you? Are you, really? *swipes left* *thinks about calling child services*
  • This could be a good description on Tinder:

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if, of course, you are Tony Stark/ Iron Man/ Robert Downey Junior. Are you? *swipes right* 

You probably didn’t even want to read this, but I’m pretty sure that my Avengers gifs really made a good impression on you, amirite? High five!

… Please swipe me right.

 

All gifs via giphy.com (love this site, wish I were a gif myself)

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The truth about being in your 20’s

I’ve had it with all the crap online about how you’re supposed to act in your twenties and what you’re supposed to do and where you’re supposed to work. Honestly, journalists from Forbes and “marketing gurus” from Neverland, p`lease. Yes, you do have good writing and I enjoy reading most of your posts, but lately I start feeling sorry for myself and for thousands of other 20 years old fellows. I have had it with infographics and slideshares on hiring and firing up to here (imagine my hand going 50 cm above my head, and I’m 168 cm tall, ok?). I have had it with people who have no idea on what they want from an employee in their 20’s. One moment it’s “trips you must take in your 20’s”, the next it’s “get an internship fast or I’ll never hire you”. We just came out of schools’ benches and we try to figure it all out and everyone is bombarding us with questions like “what’s next?” or “how are you gonna earn your living now?” You think we’re not panicked enough, to have that thrown at us? Of course we are. And I’m saying this as an employed girl in her twenties, working in social media. And yes, it’s a job. When people give you the responsibility to take care of their online image, it’s a job (and off the record, to all “PR ladies” out there, please stop saying you’re getting paid to be on Facebook like it’s a big deal, that’s not social media, kthxbye).

So where was I? Oh, yes. I am an employed girl. In her twenties. Who has no idea if this social media thing is going to last for more than another 3 years and how she is going to continue making a living after that. Not all of us are made to be entrepreneurs, some like to be the support in a team, just saying. I remember how much I struggled to get hired after I had my fair share of internships and jobs, plus a “study abroad” semester, things that I have been told matter in a resume. Well, guess what? I tried for two months. Two months! Sent updated and good resumes to jobs that I knew were right for me (I’m not stupid, I know where I stand and what I can do), personalized my resume for the profile they were looking for, got three phone calls back, from companies I either had no idea they existed or which had something different in mind in terms of my job in their office. And all that so that I can have a good life after and during school years (because I’m not done yet, by the way), have a retirement fund for when I get old and unable to work and maybe, just maybe, have a vacation once a year. And I’m 23. And because of all these “you must do this and that” articles of yours I panic and start thinking that it’s already too late for me to have a career. My years have passed. Why don’t you hire a 14 year old that already has his app uploaded on iTunes? I heard there are millions of them. (…)

I understand that when you were in your twenties, things were different and you worked hard to get to the top, that place where you are now. Maybe you even had to work in McDonald’s to pay for college. But if you did, aren’t you supposed to empathize with those who do the same thing now? To empathize with those who were not as lucky as some of us to get an internship or a job and now they have to work at Subway so that they could be a lawyer one day? It doesn’t make them less smart, I’d say they’re smarter because they’ve got it going: doing what they can to STAY in school. That’s what it is in the end.

Plus: what’s wrong if we do not choose to work like that? What if we decide to dedicate ourselves to volunteering or working abroad with short term jobs so that we could travel and see the world? What if we choose to start a family right after finishing college? Is that wasted potential? I think not. The world needs all these people.

In conclusion, in such a bad economy, stop blaming it on us. There are many young and qualified people for your marketing openings. Just admit that you can’t afford to hire and we’ll believe you. The thing is articles like “do this and that” don’t work for us anymore because we already know what to do, but we can’t find a place where to do it. And yes, we do get out of coffee shops and go to work, that’s how we pay rent, among other things.

source: http://mymusicexec.com/?p=1385
source: http://mymusicexec.com/?p=1385