Laugh at yourself

So I’m a young adult. A millennial, as Forbes likes to call us people who have these mainstream jobs, own a smartphone and know a thing or two about how a business works. You know, the future.  And this is such an ambiguous introduction to what I actually want to say. Oh, screw it. I’m a 24 year old millennial who decided that today she would wear a skater dress, with sneakers, and a jeans jacket just to show off with the fact that she works in an IT company. Yeeeeaaah, riiight.

Anyway. And this 24 year old girl (girl? woman? I have no freaking clue) just got her hands on the printed “The fault in our stars” novel, because my eyes were getting really tired after reading that illegally downloaded pdf (am I allowed to say that? Too late).

So I get off work and go wait for the tram, because that’s what millennials do on their commute to and from work. (I know about this “commute” thing from Forbes as well 😉 And no, I’m not against Forbes, it’s just a really good source to quote. Ahem).

And I get in the tram after 20 minutes of sweating in the sun and I sit, opening my book. After I read a page, I look in front of me and 2 seats away there’s a girl I know, who is 4 years younger. She’s wearing a silk blouse, with some office like pants, has a pretty impressive statement necklace and an awesome bag. All black, silver necklace. So posh and Vogue-ish. And I’m in my purple skater dress. With green sneakers. Reading “The fault in our stars”. Stable job and everything. Looking like a 14 year old coming back from classes. Didn’t get away much from the nerdy look I had back in high school.

Just realized the title of this doesn’t actually make anyone laugh at themselves. I didn’t even write about tips and tricks. Did it get you to read this? Don’t answer that. Take it as a motto. Whatever. I’m a grown-up. I’m a millennial. I’m the future. In green sneakers. Who just ordered shawarma.

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Don’t judge me. 

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Reasons why you’re just too old for this sh*t

Not a long time ago (merely 24 days or so) I became 24 years old. Please, no applause. I’ve read some really weird crap on the internet about how the brain starts to get old at 24 and so on and so forth and I cannot bare it. Or is it bear it? Or maybe beer it? Yeah, maybe beer it.

Anyway. In my family we always exaggerate age, so if my brother would be 18, mom would always say he’s 20. You do the math with my age, `cause I’ve  just beered it and I can’t even. Buzzfeed says “I can’t even” is something a teenager would say but I hate teenagers so… I guess it’s just me being young. And hip. And awesome.

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Moving on. So I have absolutely no idea how old you are and how old you feel like you are, but I gathered some “symptoms” from my own experience (boo hoo) and this is how you know you’re too old for this sh*t:

1. If you have to compare the sound of your washing machine with the sound of trance music to know that you’re listening to trance music, then you’re too old for this sh*t. (But then again, I think everybody does that no matter the age, so…)

2. If your profile picture on Facebook is not a #selfie, you’re too old for this sh*t.

3. If you have to carry wet paper towels in your bag because you just know you’re going to spill something on yourself at some point, you’re too old for this sh*t.

4. If you’re the “We gotta go” person when you go out with your friends, then you’re too old for this sh*t.

5. If you’re too happy to dance on THIS when it’s playing in the club, you’re too old for this sh*t. Or you’re in an Eastern European club. Or they’re just too old for even owning a club. Or it’s just the wrong club.

6. If you have no idea what a gif is, you’re too old for this sh*t. And you also disappoint me.

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7. If you believe that brown is the best color ever, you’re too old for this sh*t.

8. If you start liking your friend’s baby photos, you’re too old for this sh*t. And hey, no offense to my friends with babies. You’re cool and I like kids.

9. If you start telling other people what they should do with their lives, you’re too old for this sh*t.

10. If your new favorite catch phrases are “I’m young at heart” or “Old, but wise”, you’re trying too hard, and you get the point.

Bonus: 

11. If your name is James Franco and you keep posting half naked selfies on Instagram, you’re too old for this sh*t.

But we like it. Sincerely, the girls on the internet.

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(all gifs from giphy.com)